


Colt Academy

by Writelikethat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Academy, Alternate Universe, Hunters, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean, Kissing, Office Sex, Teacher Castiel, Teacher Dean Winchester, little bit Gabe and Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-20 02:22:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4769942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writelikethat/pseuds/Writelikethat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is forced to spend a year teaching at Colt Academy, a place where kids in family of hunters come after turning seventeen. Sam and Dean have put life on the road behind them, but Dean is confronted with it again when he starts lecturing at the academy and even more when he meets Castiel. He is a guy that is afraid to leave the safety of the academy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First day of school

“Dean, it’s just for a year, hell it’s not even an entire year. You’ll do fine.” Sam assured. 

“Well, why can’t you do it then? You know everything I do.”

Sam shook his head. “No, no no. I’m not good with children like you.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “They are not children. The youngest are seventeen.”

“A seventeen year old is a kid.” Sam insisted. 

“Not in the world of a hunter, they’re not”

Dean sat back in an old chair in Bobby’s living room. The man was as brown and dusty as this room, a lot crankier but still, he was the closest thing they ever had to a loving father, so the boys visited him frequently and enjoyed his complaining. Dean took a sip from his beer and looked at his brother. He wouldn’t admit it, but he really regretted saying yes to this particular favor. It wasn’t really a favor Dean had to do; it was something Bobby needed to do for a friend and Dean had been compelled to step in. Right now he was just annoyed, it wasn’t his fault that Bobby’s friend had been too close and gotten on the bad side of a demon. That had cost him his house and a few broken bones.

“Dean, you have everything you need, you know everything there is to know about ghosts and a lot about demons.”

“Maybe I should invite Crowley. Let them practice on him.” Dean seemed like he liked that idea. Their on and off again “friend” would not know what hit him if a bunch of school kids got to work on him.

Sam laughed. “That will get you fired.”

“I didn’t want to come in the first place! I am perfectly fine where I am.” Dean raised his voice in frustration.

Sam shot him a glance but didn’t respond for a while. They both sat there in silence thinking. A lot had happened since they decided that enough was enough. They wouldn’t spend more time in that car driving around, they had to settle down. 

“Hey Dean, I know you want to stay out of this life, but no one is telling you to go back into that lifestyle.”

“I’m done with this life. Bobby just won’t listen. That’s why I got a job and even last year got my own apartment.”

“Yeah, Dean. I did too, but you have to admit that the normal life is difficult because of all the weird stuff we have seen and done.” Sam gave him a meaningful look and Dean wanted to punch him. He didn’t want his brother to be right about this, but the truth was that it was difficult. They were different from other people, they knew too much. 

“So why can’t you do it? I’m not the smart one. You’ve been to college you know how this works.” 

“I can’t take a year off work.” Sam said a bit too happy about it. 

He had eventually gone back to college to finish his degree and even gotten a job at a small law firm. Dean had no idea how he had managed to sneak past his criminal record, but he suspected some fraud of his records. Man if that guy got caught, he would have to do lifetime, but there he was with a fancy job. Dean got up and walked into the kitchen. 

That’s where he had been sitting when Bobby wanted to know if he was able to take a year away from his job at the bakery. Dean knew about the academy of course, but he never really liked it. Because why would anyone go to a school and learn about horrible creature and stuff that would kill you and your entire line of relatives? 

“Would you rather have them learning like you and Sam did?” Bobby had barked. 

“That’s just low, man.” Dean huffed feeling cornered. 

“It makes you think at least.” Bobby had told him. 

“Look. Rufus is dealing with ghosts and demons. You know everything about ghosts by heart, and demons are pretty high on your list too. You know how to talk to kids, and you were good at the things you did.” 

“Because I didn’t have a choice. These kids do, and I don’t want to screw with them!” Dean insisted. 

“Most of them don’t have a choice anymore either, so teaching them how to deal with it is going to help them get better at it and hopefully they will live longer.”

Dean had eventually given in, was told when to show up at the school and what to bring. He didn’t look forward to the next day, but he had made a choice and Dean rarely got back on his promises 

Sam thanked him for the beer as he came back into the living room. 

“Dean, maybe this will be good for you. You can talk to people that know what you’ve been through, and you can get past this thing with Chloe.”

“Let’s not talk about that, Sammy.” Dean said and looked demonstratively out the window. He was definitely not ready to talk about Chloe. He had screwed things up with her and the beautiful brunette he had been with for seven months had told him loud and clear that he wasn’t good enough for her. He wanted to throw things at her, but most of all he wanted to get rid of the hurting inside. 

The last few months he had a hard time pulling himself together. It was just thanks to Charlie that he still got to work but the only thing he knew would help him get away from his feelings was if he got out on ha hunt. It wasn’t like he had loved her but it still did sting to get told he wasn’t good for anything. 

***

Dean had been at Colt Academy before. Of course he had. He and Sam had lived with Bobby for years and were familiar with the place their legal guardian worked. They had been asked before to lecture there but both had declined the invitation. As Dean took an exit off the highway he saw the sign telling him he was on the right path. It was a sign for Colt Academy where the ‘l’ in Colt was made to look like a revolver. The revolver that Dean was very much familiar with, the gun was still at his home. He couldn’t get rid of it for several reasons, the most important one was Azazel. 

Dean got to a gate and was stopped by a guard.

“What are you doing here, Sir?” He said as Dean had rolled his window down. 

“I’m here with Bobby Singer.”

The guard nodded. “Go on.” Dean rolled over the bump in the road and was officially inside.

The bump was a railway of pure iron lased with salt. It was to prevent something uninvited getting past the guards. Dean was also familiar with the pattern the railway made; after all it was made by Colt himself so it had to be a pentagram to protect the children and teachers on campus. 

Samuel Colt must have been a very cool person. Dean knew he was an angry drunk, but he had been a pretty hard core hunter back in the day and even helped them when it came down to it.   
Dean drove further up the road and soon the houses where the students lived were by the side, then up ahead were the main house with the classrooms appeared. In front of the main house was a big garden, like a park with trees, paths of gravel and a lot of benches spread out where a few students already sat with books. Dean looked at the entry of the stone building with stairs big enough to camp on and clean cut columns reaching up to the roof. The entire front was covered in protective symbol and Dean knew that the heavy doors were from a special tree which could protect against some creatures and the sigils on the door had he always found pretty cool. Samuel Colt must have been a cool person indeed.

Dean found his way to Bobby’s office and opened the door. The man stood up and shot a glance at Dean’s clothes.

“What?”

Bobby shrugged his shoulders. 

“Nothin’. Let me show you your office and classroom.” He said and Dean wondered if it was something wrong with his dark blue slacks and black button down shirt. He had seen the teachers wear pretty much the same so Dean figured he should at least dress properly for his new job whether he liked it or not. 

Bobby opened the door to Rufus’ old office. There were a lot of books in there already and Dean was happy, he didn’t own that many books himself anyway. He never would have thought so but he could already see himself sitting behind the desk in that small office with only one window looking out at the park in front of the school. 

Bobby continued down a hall and into an auditorium. 

“This is the place you’ll be most of the time. Your class has about twenty students. You know what to start with?”

Dean drew a long breath. He did not like the idea of standing in front of so many people. He nodded. “I hope so.” 

Just as they stood there the room started to fill and the students walked to their places while the chatter eased down. A few of them looked really young, but there was also some that seemed like they knew what life was about. Most of them didn’t look anything like hunters though. They were wearing slim fit jeans and blouses in shining colors. Even if Dean logically knew that this was school and not how things was out there he still got annoyed by these young people coming here thinking this was a game. 

“Where is Rufus?” A guy asked and looked confused at the two men standing in front of them. 

“Rufus had an accident so we have to start this year without him. He is doing fine, but not enough to come back here. Instead we have brought in a younger hunter. This is Dean and he will get you through this year’s worth of ghost and demon lore. Good luck!” Bobby patted Dean’s back before he walked out. The room was dead silent. Everybody looked at Dean and he felt how they judged him from where they sat. They didn’t know anything and had no right to look like that at him! 

“Well I’m Dean like Bobby here told you already. I’m not really a teacher, but I have been hunting a few years and know enough to pass it on.”

“Really? Rufus is both a teacher and have been hunting all his life. He knew what he was teaching.”

Dean looked over at a guy sitting in the back. He reminded himself that he would not get anywhere if he went into an argument with these kids. Because like Sam had said, they totally were just kids.

“Yeah?” 

“Yes, he told us.” 

“That’s great.” 

“So have you been out there hunting or did you just read about it?” Another guy tipped in. 

“I’ve been around.” He told them. Like they could talk, being at school to learn about this stuff. 

“Where?” 

“I’m not telling you all about my life like this, you have to earn it! I am here to teach you about the ghosts and demons that exist out there.” 

He could hear them mutter about how he probably didn’t know anything. He wanted to get mad but instead he started to do the lecture like he had planned. All through the class he felt them looking at him with hostile looks. He was an intruder and no matter what he said they talked back telling him he was wrong or that he just faked it. Dean never thought of himself as a smart person, but one thing he hated, was being underestimated. 

After the class Dean felt like his face was on fire, his hair was a mess for dragging his hands through it again and again, and he boiled on the inside from his anger. He marched through the hall and into Bobby’s office. 

“How do you do this every day, Bobby? You have to find someone else. These kids are just spoiled and making everything a problem. They come here and think they know anything about real horror but all they do is actually sit there pleasantly feeling warm and have enough food. Life hasn’t even occurred to them yet! Tell me what they are doing here?”

Bobby had turned to face him as he yelled and when he finished Dean fell down in the chair opposite of the older man. 

“Not everyone needs to be beat up on the outside to hurt.” A voice came from behind him and Dean turned to look at a man in a suit stand by one of Bobby’s bookshelves. He hadn’t seen him when he got in but he had clearly been there the entire time. Was this a student? He looked a little too old for that, but he wasn’t one of the teachers Dean had been introduced to throughout the day. The man was seriously good looking though. Dark and wild hair that he tried to straighten when he noticed Dean looked at it. Clear blue eyes which reminded Dean of a rabbit caught in the headlights.

“I know that. But those kids have no real experience with the things they learn about and still they manage to complain. They think this is fun.”

“They give you a hard time?” Dean could hear the teasing in the man’s low husky voice, and he refused to think about how that voice sent a shiver down his spine.

“Who are you? You here to score some extra points?” Dean looked critically at him before standing up. 

"I'm not-" The guy started but Dean cut him off.

“If this class keeps being a bitch, I will quit before next month!” Dean hissed at Bobby and marched back out. He heard Bobby telling the other guy that Dean just needed to get stuff off his chest and he’d be just fine. Fine? He was forced to stand in front of hostile youth’s and they made him feel even more like shit than Chloe had managed.

Dean got time to think after he closed the door to his office. He needed to approach this a little differently. After a while he settled down, got some coffee and whiskey into his body and was able to separate himself from what happened in the classroom. He made a new plan before he headed home and by that it was already dark outside.


	2. My way or the highway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has pulled himself together and decides to do things his own way. He finds out he liked the planning and teaching and Sam comes over to tease him about it.

Dean woke up the next morning still in a bad mood. He was mad at the kids for being so arrogant thinking this was fun and games. He was mad at himself for being so insecure, and he was mad at Bobby for making him do this. Well it was actually his own fault, but he wasn’t happy to admit that. He could have been back at the bakery with Charlie, making all sorts of delicious pies. 

When he got to his office there was a cup of hot coffee on the chair in front of his door. First he felt suspicious of it, why would anyone give him coffee? Was it laced with something? He hadn’t had time to make or buy coffee this morning so the need for caffeine eventually won as he grabbed it and walked into his office to get ready. 

He dumped his duffle bag on one of the chairs and pulled out his own computer and placed it on his desk. He had dropped his “academic clothing” and was back in hunter gear. A pair of jeans, a gray t-shirt and a green shirt open on top. He had even dug out a pair of boots from his closet and was happy with himself. At least these were comfortable clothes. 

He talked briefly to Bobby on his way to class and as he got there the students were already ready. He strode inside with the duffle bag over his shoulder. The class went silent. 

“Hey, Winchester. Are you on your way to the forest?” A guy asked with a laugh. Others joined in and Dean felt the boiling anger from yesterday rose. He had promised himself not to lose it so he just dumped the bag on the desk with a heavy thud looking at them. 

“Yesterday you were rude and unpleasant towards me, and that’s fine, but the first rule when you are meeting people having trouble with a ghost in their basement; You need to be charming and polite, people should be able to trust you or they won't let you into their house!” He saw a few of them duck their heads by his harsh words. Dean opened his bag and pulled out a shotgun with the tip sawed off. 

“Secondly. This year you will get to practice your shooting. Those of you that keep up the attitude are not getting their hands on any gun. Shooting is about being precise and level headed. Running for revenge or in anger is like shooting yourself in the knee.” 

Dean saw a lot of them getting interested when he pulled out the gun, and maybe it was wrong to bribe them with the shooting, but it might work and Dean was never one for playing fair. He did what he had to do to get what he wanted. 

Dean pointed at a pretty girl on the front row. “You there. Would you trust the guy behind you to have your back if he kept laughing through the lecture about demon traps?” He asked her. The girl blushed and the guy behind her got a few nudges from his friends. Eventually the girl cleared her throat. 

“I would trust a person to have my back when both knew what was at stake. So I wouldn’t trust him if he didn’t pay attention.” She almost whispered the last part. 

“I’m not saying this to put you against each other. I want you to understand that if one of you slips out there for only a second, that could be it.”

He saw that most of them understood what he said to them and a dark cloud loomed over the students.

“Now tell me. How many have fired a gun?” Almost everyone raised their hands, taking up the excited chatter. 

“That’s good. And what were you firing at?” He asked and a lot of hands rose again to tell their stories. Most of them had shot at a target such as bottles or barrels, others had tried shooting animals. 

“My dad took me out to shoot deer once. He wanted me to try it, so while he helped me hold the shotgun, I tried, but wasn’t anywhere near the poor animal.” A girl with a kind smile told the class. 

It seemed like they settled down with him as the day went by. At lunchtime Dean met up with Bobby telling him what was going on and he seemed pleased that Dean had a good day. 

There was a knock on his office just as he got back to Rufus’ (his) office. 

“Come in.” He said and the guy from last night at Bobby’s peered inside. 

“Hi. How are you?”

“I’m fine.” Dean answered stiffly. The other man came further into the room and Dean took the time to look at him. He was dressed formally in a suit and a trench coat. He still didn’t look overdressed, maybe because of his ruffled bed hair and backwards tie. Who wore a tie backwards? His eyes were big and so so blue. Dean almost forgot they were talking and he cleared his throat. 

“Did you get the coffee this morning?” The other man said in the same low husky voice he used yesterday.

“That was you?”

Blue Eyes tilted his head and if possible looked even better when he was confused. 

“I wrote a note on the cup.” He looked a little shy for a moment.

“Yeah, I was in a hurry, didn’t have time to study the cup.” Dean said, but he bent down to pick it up from the garbage. ‘Hope you have a better day. Castiel’ He smiled. 

“Your name is Castiel?” Dean asked and one side of his mouth raised a little. The guy nodded and shifted from one foot to the other as he let his eyes linger on his lips. Dean felt a tingling in his stomach and licked his bottom lip slowly; the other man seemed to have trouble tearing his eyes away. 

“Okay, Castiel. Thanks for the coffee. I assume you are not a student here?”

Castiel chuckled. “No I teach about angels and anything relating to that.”

“So you are basically their religion teacher?” Dean smirked at him and saw the other mans eyes wrinkle as he smiled back. 

Dean jumped as the bell was ringing to call for the next class. They walked towards the door together and stopped outside, standing a little bit closer than strangers usually do.

“I’ll see you around then?” Dean said, cursing his voice for sounding so soft. Castiel smiled.

“I sure hope so.”

Dean felt a shock in his stomach as he walked to class light in his steps. 

When he came inside the students sat down looking at him with just a little bit of whispering but nothing too much. He was about to start when a girl in the front raised her hand. 

“Yes?”

“I’m Rachel. We were talking and… It’s obvious that you have been hunting so we wondered if you could tell us about what got you into that life?” She was blushing and Dean understood this was something they had been talking about and she was the one that had been picked to ask on behalf of the rest of them. He gazed over the class and almost everyone sat on the edge of their seats waiting for his answer. 

“You want to know how long I’ve been hunting?”

Several nods. 

“I was six years old when my dad took me outside to shoot at a target.” He started and the silence in the room was deafening. A few girls covered their mouth with a hand looking horrified. 

“The first time I actually saw a creature I was nine. It was a ghost and I didn’t sleep for days.” He looked up and had the attention of the entire class. And when he told them that he was only eleven when he killed his first monster most of the girls looked at him with sad eyes and the boys like they had a new hero. 

A guy raised his hand. “Why did your father make you practice shooting when you were only six?”

“I think I’ll save that story for another day. I will give you an assignment where you tell me about your experience with this life and what kind of knowledge you think this class will provide you with.” As the class started for the door a girl broke from the group. 

“Um. Mr. Winchester.”

“Call me Dean.” He smiled friendly at her. “You are?”

“I’m Shannon. I… uh… don’t have any personal experience with ghosts or… you know.”

“So you wonder what you should be writing about?”

She nodded looking a little flustered. 

“Just write about why you chose this school.” Dean told her and she took a deep breath. 

“My brother believed in this kind of stuff. He said he had found… found a real demon, at a crossroad. I didn’t believe him of course, but then he died and I started to look into it, you know?” She gave a sad smile and Dean touched her forearm briefly. 

“I see. Why don’t you write that story, the parts that you are ready to share, and I bet it will be fine?” 

He saw her leave the class with her friends and he actually felt good about being in class. He had managed to get better even if it was only day two. The class seemed to be okay with him and he found that Bobby was right; it was better to help them be as good as they could get instead of leaving them to fend for themselves.

***

Dean stood up from his chair and padded barefoot into the kitchen to get some food. He had been sitting still for too long and he should probably get out for a bit, but he was too engaged in his work. He found that he liked to plan what he was going to do in class. A lot of the students liked to ask questions and he engaged them in discussions that often ended up in more questions. When the doorbell rang he listened to who it was before opening the door for his brother. Sam stopped in the living room. 

“Dude! What happened to your dinner table?” He huffed a laugh. 

“Nothing, just a bit of work.” Dean told him looking at the table. It was covered in books and papers. His computer stood on top of a stack of books and he had pen and paper lying in front of it with scribbling on. He turned to walk back into the kitchen. Sam came after him, still chuckling. “You are really getting into this work then?”

“Shut up. What are you doing here?” Dean had found what he needed to make a sandwich and asked if his brother wanted one. 

“Sure. I just wanted to see how you are holding up after your first week. Obviously I’ve got nothing to worry about.” He smiled a genuine smile. He had been worried for his brother after the mess with Chloe. Dean hadn’t been himself long after that. 

“Yeah, well it was okay. It’s nothing I’m used to of course but the kids are good so I’ll get through it.” Dean gave one sandwich to his brother and walked into the living room with his own. 

Sam smiled a little looking at the table which was filled to the brim with different books on lore regarding ghosts. His brother had never liked research but it seemed like this was different. Sam was hanging around teasing Dean about how he liked going back to school where people talked about stuff he knew about. Dean didn’t want to admit it but he had enjoyed himself through the week. The kids had grown on him, he felt at home in his office and the classes were familiar in all its weirdness, and he didn’t have to worry about anyone’s lives were at stake at any time. 

Cas was also a reason even if that was something he definitely wasn’t going to tell his brother. Dean had met him at lunch through the week and started to call him Cas. The man had looked at him with his confused look. “Why do you call me that?”

“Um, do you prefer Mr. Novak or Castiel?”

“It’s okay I guess. No one really gives me nicknames.” He told him and then it was Dean’s turn to look confused but when he asked Cas just changed the subject. 

Sam left with a warning that he shouldn’t sit down working all day long so Dean decided he would go out for a run and come back in maybe he would make something. Being at school every day was busy so he hadn’t had the chance to spend time in the kitchen like he used to. Saturdays was usually spent in the kitchen anyway. 

After a shower he turned on the radio and got to work. He made pie with cheese and strawberries. As he walked around in his kitchen he didn’t even notice that time went by. He loved being able to work with his hands in dough and even if Sam teased him about his bakery and how that was totally girly Dean couldn’t bring himself to care. He loved it, and he should be able to do what he loved after all those years in a car driving around saving people. 

So that’s what he did. He paired up with Charlie and together they opened a little bakery with excellent network connections that gave Charlie a chance to have her friends over to play their games together. Dean drove over to their bakery and smiled when he saw the familiar sign on top saying Sweet Tooth. Charlie hugged him as he busted through the door and grabbed the plate of pie. 

“What is this?”

“It’s strawberry and cheese pie.” He told her. 

“Cheese, really?”

“Don’t be like that. It was really good.”

She smiled and walked into the kitchen. Dean noticed that the place was almost full, people sat around chatting and drinking coffee. They obviously did good. Since Dean had to take the year off, they had decided to hire one person to help out and a guy named Benny had applied. Both Dean and Charlie were convinced when the guy showed up with a perfect lemon meringue. 

Dean grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down talking with Charlie. He told her about the students and what he was teaching. Dean also told her about the new friends he had made with some of the other teachers and that the school felt more like a cozy hotel with classes rather than a regular high school. 

Somehow he didn’t tell her about Cas. He wasn’t sure why, but the guy with the pretty blue eyes and the formal wear was making him think about stuff he wasn’t supposed to do. Charlie had been good at keeping herself out of this kind of life, but she still knew about it, so Dean could talk to her about stuff regarding that. 

The people in the town knew about the school, but they mostly believed that it was old and teaching history and different mythologies. The rumors would have it that the school brought in the people it wanted and not the other way around and Dean was inclined to believe that. At least, the kids coming there had a reason to be there.


	3. Drinking your coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is working hard at school. He get closer to Cas and suddenly feel insecure.

Dean was planning on preparing the class for their hunt. It seemed like every semester, Rufus had taken his students out on field trips where they could practice what they learned in class about ghosts. Dean was not happy about the idea of going on a hunt with a bunch of kids, but like Bobby had told him, this was not reckless when it was all under supervision of two adults, and the oldest students had even done a lot of hunting before. It was only students that had been there for three years that was allowed on these fieldtrips anyway. It still felt really weird doing that, but instead of trying to convince Bobby and the headmaster; Mr. Shirley that it was madness, he decided to start the preparations early.   
'  
That’s why Dean already Monday of the second week brought it up. He divided them into groups of six, and made them all sit down and plan a hunt, how would they start and what was most important? The whole class was in on it because that way they all learned how to prepare for a hunt. Since the students got in on the academy at any time there would be someone there at age twenty which had only been there for a year. That’s why there was a rule that anyone that had been there less than three years wouldn’t be going on the hunts. Dean heard some of them complain but he was set on it; there was no way he would take anyone with him before they were ready. 

Tuesdays were the only day through the week that Dean had the first class of the day. He didn’t like getting up too early, it sounded stupid considering he had barely slept while hunting, and that he worked at a bakery, but he had gotten a new habit after he found a home. Sleeping was good, it was really good. 

That was the reason he stumbled into the academy barely in time, getting a hot cup of coffee shoved into his hand by Cas and almost ran to class. Dean was following Rufus timetable and he obviously used to start with the ghost stuff in the first semester and move on to demons in the second. It seemed logic, so he didn’t feel like switching it. Why start with the heavy stuff sooner than necessary? 

Tuesdays were also his longest days. He went to the cafeteria with Cas, Jo and Lucifer, and sometimes Bobby. 

“How come they have hired satan on this place? Colt must be turning in his grave.” Dean said after saying hello to Lucifer the first time. The blond guy just patted his shoulder playfully and laughed. He turned out to be a guy you wanted to be with, fun and loyal and even a little shy. 

It was a little strange at first, eating at the same place as the students, but it was nice. He could chat with them, getting to know them better and they could ask the teachers questions if they needed it. Dean sat opposite Jo and she leaned over to him. 

“You really have got the entire class to love you.” She said. 

“Yeah right.” Dean took a bite of his sandwich. 

“I mean it. I hear girls whisper about your eyes and you’re pretty whatever in the halls and the guys is trying to be like you. You are their hero.” 

“I’ll be giving back their first assignment in the end of the week; that will make it stop.” He insisted and both Lucifer and Cas laughed, but Jo just rolled her eyes. Dean had known her since they were kids. She was the daughter of Bobby’s girlfriend, so Jo was practically a sister to him and Sam. 

“Whatever you say, but don’t be surprised when they invite you to their parties. And don’t break their hearts.” 

“They do that?” Dean looked confused from Jo to Lucifer to Cas. The two first nodded, the last just shrugged his shoulders. 

“Their parties are crazy, man.” Lucifer stated and laughed a little. He had passed thirty, but still seemed younger than Dean and his just thirty. He behaved kind of childish in a lot of situations, but he still was fun to hang with. 

“Are you telling me you go to these parties? Is that even allowed?” Dean shook his head. 

“Well, they only stay inside this place it’s kind of safe, and yeah, most of them are like nineteen or more.” Lucifer rolled his eyes and stabbed a French fries with his fork. Jo giggled. 

“You too, Jo? Seriously?”

“You should come too, Dean. Don’t be such a buzz kill. We have fun, and we watch out for the younger ones, it’s a win win. It isn’t even that much drinking involved either.” She stated.

“Right.” Dean didn’t know what to say to that. He was surprised, but it seemed like it was a thing they did here. The drinking part he definitively didn’t believe, but who was he to say anything? It wasn’t like he was any kind of saint. 

Jo and Lucifer walked to their offices on one side of the building and Cas walked with Dean the other direction where they had their offices. 

“Do you go to these parties?”

“I don’t really do that kind of thing, no.” 

“Really, ever?”

Cas shook his head once and looked like he wanted to talk about something else. 

“Then what are you doing on the weekends?”

“I mostly grade papers or plan my classes.”

“You are just all work and no play, huh?” Dean asked and nudged his arm. Cas smiled a little, but didn’t say anything. 

“Hey, you should come visit my bakery.” Dean told him. 

“You own a bakery?” Cas stopped and stared in surprise.

Dean grinned and proudly told him about his place and asked if he lived in town. 

“I live here on campus.” Cas told him. 

“What? Why?”

“I like it here, it’s nice and safe and besides it’s close to my work.” He said defensively.

Dean wanted to ask him about his life, about why he needed to feel safe and he wanted to know why he was a teacher even if he didn’t seem to have personal interest in the kids. Dean didn’t ask though, he just nodded. 

“Fine. But will you come with me to the bakery?”

“Is it a date?” Cas asked and his eyes wrinkled a little in humor, but it was serious enough. 

Dean was totally unprepared and he opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out. Cas huffed a laugh at him and Dean cursed internally when he felt himself blush. 

“Uh… Would you like it to be a date?”

“You could pay me back for all those coffee’s at least.” Cas teased and Dean laughed nervously.

***

Dean had been tense ever since he had asked Cas to come visit the bakery. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the guy because; boy did he like seeing those blue eyes wrinkle at the ends when he laughed and his pretty tentative smiles. They had been flirting for a while. The mornings when Cas gave him coffee he always wrote stuff on the cup. Sometimes it was an encouraging quote, other times it was a funny drawing. If anyone asked he would deny it, but Dean always looked forward to that neat scribble on his cup. 

He found himself waiting for the man so they could walk to the cafeteria together and he refused to think that it made him look like a teenage girl with a crush. Because this wasn’t a crush. Dean had been on dates a lot, but mostly through his life he had just picked someone up at a bar, because that’s what his life was. He didn’t have time for romance or relationships. 

Dean had been with guys before, but that was only for sex. He had never, never even had a drink with another guy if he was going to sleep with him. That’s what he had friends for, Sam and Benny or Garth; they could go out for a drink. Not a potential hook up. That was why Dean couldn’t help but rush to the bakery late Thursday night. He sat down poking in a piece of pie thinking hard. He jumped when Charlie nudged his shoulder. 

“Where are you, dude?” She asked teasingly. 

“Huh? What?” He said looking at her. She gave him a concerned look. 

“Is something wrong? She sat down beside him. 

“No. No, why would it be?” He smiled at her, but he knew the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Charlie pulled her chair closer to him and forced him to meet her gaze. 

“Dean. What happened? You look miserable!” She insisted. He just shook his head. 

"I’m just tired. Being a teacher is hard." He told her and took a bite of the pie. It didn’t taste much. Why was he nervous? He never was! Dean was smooth, he knew exactly how to get a date and how to get said date home to his place and into bed. That was something he was good at, why so out of shape? But he liked Cas. The man was interesting and Dean liked talking to him as well as admire his pretty eyes and dream about that mouth of his.   
It had been too long since last time he had a date. If he was honest to himself it also was too long since he got laid. After Chloe he had lost his confidence and started working out instead to burn off some steam. 

“Dean, you must think I’m stupid.” She told him. “I know how you are when you are tired and this isn’t it. So will you please enlighten me or should I call Sam?”

Dean watched her. She was so fierce, always forcing him to talk. No, she didn’t force him, she made him want to. She was that kind of a friend. He looked around them; it was late so the bakery was closed. He took a deep breath. 

“I think I screwed up.” He told her. 

“How?”

“I met someone.”

Charlie almost stood up from her chair as she leaped over the table to hug him. He knew everybody had been concerned about him after Chloe, and he admitted that he hadn’t been himself, but was it really that bad? 

“How is meeting someone a bad thing?”

“Not that part.” Dean huffed.

“Who is it? Can I meet her?” Charlie smiled as she sat back. Dean looked at her for a long time without saying anything. She didn’t know that he liked guys as well as girls. He never told her, and he never actually saw that as something he needed to tell. Sam knew and so did the rest of his family, but that was about it. He didn’t try and hide it, it just never came up so why would he say anything? 

“Well, soon. I… Charlie, it’s a guy. I told him to come with me here.”

She stared at him. “A guy? Since when are you going out with guys?”

“Since… I don’t know, I was eighteen?” He told her. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It never came up! It’s not like you walk up to someone and tell them you could date a guy as well. I had a girlfriend, I didn’t need to go out with a guy then.” 

She nodded. “Fine. Tell me who it is?”

“A guy I work with. He lives on campus. And I just asked him if he wanted to meet me here, as a friend you know, but then he asked if it was a date! I didn’t even know he was gay! I just wanted to be nice, I know he had been flirting with me, but I didn’t read too much into it. Now I think I made him feel uncomfortable since I never really answered him.” Dean let a hand run through his hair and looked helpless at her. 

 

Charlie had assured him he would do great so he got into school the next day and felt confident. He would find Castiel and he would tell the guy they could make it a date. He was almost at his office when Jo stopped him in the hall. 

“Hey there. Some of us were talking and we wondered if we could have a party at your place tomorrow night?” 

“My place?”

“Yeah. You have the biggest place and you live like in the middle of everyone.” She pushed his shoulder. Dean looked down at her eager face. 

“We could all need a party, like a real party where we don’t have to look after kids.” She rolled her eyes and Dean had to laugh at her. 

“Who is coming?” 

“Sam, Gabe and Garth of course. Then I talked to some of the people working here. It’s not going to be like a big one.” 

“Sure. Just… don’t invite like the whole faculty!”

Jo laughed as she ran down the hall. 

Because Jo had stopped Dean on his way to Cas he was late. He had to turn around and walk back to his office and then over to the class. Like usual his students were ready, some of them chatted lightly with others and some was asleep in their seat. Dean greeted them and made sure everyone was present in class before starting up. 

Dean was busy most of the day and he didn’t see Cas until after the last session. He walked up to the man and tapped him on the shoulder. 

“Where have you been all day?” He asked with a smile. Cas smiled at him. 

“This has been a long day.” He stated. 

“Tell me about it. Coffee in my office in ten?” He asked and saw a bit of surprise in the other man’s face, but he chose to ignore it.

“Sure.” Cas said before walking away. 

Dean wondered why he seemed surprised. They often met up at one of their offices with coffee and talk about the day or anything they might think of. Dean never thought of that as anything but friendly until Cas had asked if he was asking him to a date. But he had time to think about it, and he knew they had been flirting. It wasn’t normal to sit side by side with a friend with your thigh pressed against the other while sharing lingering looks. Dean used to deliberately let his tongue swipe over his lower lip and he liked seeing how Cas’ eyes widened just a little bit and was unable to tear his eyes away. That made him press his thigh closer to his and want to put a hand there as well. Dean liked the teasing and flirting, and when he really thought of it he had known all along that their ‘friendship’ wasn’t exactly platonic.


	4. Outside the academy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean takes Cas on a date but get into trouble at a party later that night

Cas had showed up at his office with two cups of coffee. Dean cut to the chase and told him about the party at his place and that he would like it if they could go to the bakery first if Cas wanted to. Cas seemed a little unsettled at the thought and asked where Dean lived, if it was far from the academy. 

“Nah, only about fifteen minutes drive.” Dean told him and looked at him over his cup. Why was Cas so nervous?

“Um… I don’t…” Cas took a deep breath and stopped himself. Dean found himself leaning over and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey, Cas. If you don’t want to come all you have to do is say so.” He told him but on the inside he already felt rejected. 

“I want to come, but I told you that I don’t go to parties like the others do.”Cas said. 

“That’s cool, you can come to the bakery then and I’ll drive you back here.” Dean said smiling and Cas eventually nodded. 

Dean spent the rest of the day and a lot of Saturday as well thinking about why Cas was so afraid to come to a party. It wasn’t like they were kids anymore so they all did whatever they liked. Some of them may get a bit drunk but that didn’t mean it was customary. Dean had a feeling there was something else he didn’t know. 

***

Like he had said Cas came into town and met Dean outside the bakery. Cas seemed skittish but Dean decided not to mention it. 

The minute they stepped inside Charlie was all over them. 

“I’m Charlie, so glad to meet you, Castiel. Dean has told me about you.” She beamed up to him and Cas stared at her in surprise, obviously not knowing what to make out of this red headed whirlwind. 

“Charlie, calm down, don’t scare the man!” Dean hissed at her and she just rolled her eyes and gave him a smack on his ass. Cas swallowed at their encounters. 

“Oh, I don’t think he’s afraid of me.” She grinned up at Cas who found himself smiling back at her. 

“See?” Charlie said before turning around walking back to the counter. Dean found himself putting a hand on Cas’ back to lead him to a table by the window. 

“She’s just really excited.” Dean muttered fondly. 

“You like her.” Cas stated matter-of-factly. 

“She’s like a sister to me, so yeah, I love that girl. But telling her makes her even worse so keep it to yourself.” Dean said making Cas chuckle. 

They ordered their coffees and settled down to talk like they used to do. Dean noticed that as the day turned into night and it got darker, Cas got significantly more jumpy. In the end he couldn’t stop himself from asking. 

“Cas, is there something wrong?”

“What do you mean?” He said taking a bite of his pie even if his eyes still were wide. 

“You seem… uneasy?” 

“It’s just been a while since I was outside is just all.” Cas told him with an attempt to smile reassuringly. 

“Should we call it a night, then?” Dean asked and saw relief in the other man’s face. Dean wasn’t sure why that made him feel bad. What the hell happened to this guy, and why didn’t he tell him?

On the way back to the academy Cas sat in the passenger seat staring ahead. Dean wanted to ask but the guy just seemed spooked and Dean decided he should at least get him home. The moment they crossed the railway with salt Cas relaxed. He leaned back in the seat closing his eyes taking deep breaths. 

“You okay there?” Dean asked him.

“I’m fine, thank you.” Cas said and then he gave him directions to his house. He was living a little bit away from the others in a small two storey house. It was charming in between the trees and it suited Cas.

“Very nice.” Dean praised and Cas smiled. 

“Dean… I’m sorry I have been acting weird. I have been working here for two years and I haven’t been outside much.” 

“Why?” Dean couldn’t help it. 

“It’s a long story. I hope you don’t think I didn’t enjoy your company because I did. And your bakery was pleasant.” Cas smiled. 

Dean nodded slowly, itching to find out everything. 

“I should let you get to the party.” Cas opened the door and got out. 

“See you on Monday.” Cas smiled at him before walking up to his house. Dean found himself wanting to go in there with him, to make sure the guy was alright. He took a deep breath and decided he could do that later. Right now he was going to get drunk and try to have a good time. Maybe the guy didn’t really want his company that much. 

His place was already filled with people dancing to loud music and swaying from alcohol. He snatched a glass of something from Sam and downed it with a growl. Sam looked confused at him and followed into the kitchen. Jo was standing by the bench cutting up lemons while Charlie giggled trying to pour tequila into a row of shot glasses. Dean huffed in frustration and grabbed the bottle before the made the whole floor swim. If he had known that Jo would make it this kind of a party he would have told her to find another place, but what could he do? They were already there, he felt bad about leaving Cas behind and he needed something to feel better. 

Charlie complained when he got to the third shot and he let her take over. Sam stopped him. 

“Dude, tell me what’s going on.” 

“You know what? I’m not telling you anything. Get that frown away from me.” Dean told his brother. Sam protested and kept asking him what was wrong until Dean started yelling and telling his brother to back off. 

Sam eventually gave up and was shushed out of the kitchen by Charlie, then she came back and pulled Dean into a hug.

“Here, have one more and you’ll feel better.” Jo handed him another shot and Dean grimaced. He was already starting to feel dizzy from taking a lot of those; he didn’t keep count. 

The chairs he usually had in the kitchen were nowhere to be found and Dean didn’t feel like mingling so he just jumped up on the kitchen bench, grabbing a large glass of water and leaned his head back against a cabinet. He closed his eyes and felt he could listen to the buzz in his system. 

He shouldn’t be upset by his weird date-thing with Castiel. They had gone out and in the bakery their time had been just as great as it used to be at work. The problem was probably that he wasn’t sure what Cas wanted or what he felt.   
The music was loud and all around him were people having a great time. Dean just felt tired and annoyed that they were all at his home. He decided not to let it get to him and kept his eyes shut. Suddenly he felt a pair of warm hands on his thighs and a presence very close to his face. His eyes opened and stared into a pair of honey colored eyes and a teasing smirk. Dean let his head fall back against the cabinet. 

“Gabe.” He muttered. Dean had known Gabe for almost as long as Jo. They were friends and since Dean lived with Bobby and Jo did the same thing, they had met a lot over the years. Gabriel, which was his real name, had often tried to get close to Dean and they had a kind of friends with benefits thing going on. 

“Why this sour face?” Gabe asked cheerful. 

“Just get off me.” Dean told the guy. Gabe grabbed his shirt and pulled Dean closer to him. 

“Don’t be so difficult.” Gabe grumbled. “I know you’ve been through hell these past months, so let me help you feel better.” He said into his ear and Dean swore under his breath when a shiver went down his spine. 

“How drunk are you exactly?” Dean asked looking down at that familiar mischievous grin.

“Not drunk at all, Dean-o.” He stated and Dean just rolled his eyes. Gabe was probably telling the truth. The guy didn’t need to get drunk to be all kinds of crazy. 

“I’m telling you, all you need is some well deserved release.” Gabe whispered into his ear and Dean tried really hard not to be affected, but even he didn’t know when his hands started to run up and down the smaller man’s arms.   
When Gabriel lifted his chin a little and pressed his soft lips against his Dean let out a sigh, but didn’t move. Gabriel didn’t pull back; instead he pressed himself closer and let his tongue swipe over Dean’s lip urging him to open up. With a sigh Dean parted his lips, letting him inside and put his arms around the other guy pulling him close. 

Gabriel let out a pleased moan and his tongue explored Dean’s mouth. His hands were just as adventures and Dean felt his warm hands under his shirt, finding their way around his back, then over his abs and up to pinch a nipple. Dean hissed and buried his hand in the younger man’s long hair pressing him even closer. 

As Gabriel’s lips ran down Dean’s neck he started to pull back.

“Gabe, I can’t do this.” He said softly. 

“Oh, come on Dean. I know you want to.” He let his hand run up Dean’s thigh and push over a growing bulge in his pants to make a point. 

“Ah… I know… But I can’t.” He tried again. Gabriel was usually very persistent in his attempts to get Dean into bed. It wasn’t that Dean didn’t want to, but Gabriel was four years younger than him and he was afraid the guy might get the wrong idea. He had to tell himself that Gabe was a grown man now; but their first time had been when Gabe was nineteen and very eager. 

“Why?” Gabriel finally pulled back to meet Dean’s eyes. 

“Because I met a guy, so I can’t do that to him.”

“You’ve got a boyfriend?” 

“No, it’s nothing like that, yet.”

“So what’s the problem. He’s not here is he?” Gabriel leaned in again and sealed their lips again and Dean felt himself groan into the others mouth.

***

Dean woke up late on Monday morning but made his way to the academy. He had spent most of Sunday cleaning after the party and swore he would never let Jo throw a party at his place ever again. 

At lunch he met with the usual gang as they sat down to eat. Jo stole a bite from Dean’s sandwich and giggled when he swatted her hand away. 

“How are you feeling, Dean?” She asked. 

“You could have come over help me clean yesterday.” He told her grumpily. 

Jo just shrugged. 

“I wasn’t sure if Gabe was still there.”

“What? Did Gabriel stay with you?” Lucifer looked at Dean in confusion. 

“No, he didn’t.” Dean said sternly feeling Cas’ gaze heavy on him. 

“Well, it was hard to tell from what I saw.”Jo wiggled her eyebrows and Dean wanted to kick her in the shin. 

Cas left the lunch table early and Dean just couldn’t sit there so he got up an followed him down the hall. 

“Cas…” 

He kept walking and Dean almost had to run after him. 

“Cas, I need to talk to you.” He said and saw that the man shook his head a little. 

“What about?” Cas stopped in front of the door to his office. 

“Whatever you are angry about.” Dean told him and met a cold blue gaze. 

A few students walked past them and Cas dragged him into his office. 

“It’s not my business what you do.” He looked at Dean. 

“But I didn’t do anything, Cas. I know what Jo made it sound like. I was drunk and Gabe was all over me, but nothing happened. He didn’t stay with me.”

“Yeah, like I said, it’s not really my business.” 

Dean let one hand run over his face. 

“Cas. I know we only went out this weekend, and that we haven’t talked about what… this is. But… I would like to do it again, so I’m not with anyone else.” 

Cas lifted his head and met Dean’s eyes. The insecurity was obvious in the other’s eyes and before Dean had time to think it through he was leaning in and kissing the guy.


	5. so close, yet so far away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean have some fun, but did they really?

Cas was holding back a little after the incident with Gabriel. He still brought coffee and he still talked to Dean but he was more careful. Dean wanted to blame it on Jo, but he knew it wasn’t entirely her fault. If he hadn’t let Gabriel all over him at the party, this would never have been an issue. 

Dean understood that Cas had trust issues. He was not sure why, but he thought it might have something to do with whatever made it so important to stay safe at the academy. 

His class had come a long way in planning the hunt and they was given the task of finding potential places to go. Dean got to meet the guy he was bringing with him and the class. The guy made Dean feel even worse about the whole thing. Balthazar was irresponsible and only wanted to have fun. He didn’t seem like he was suited to even be a teacher in the way nothing was serious to him. According to the record he was the best one, he had been on these trips as long as Rufus had. Dean would just have to trust him. 

The hunt was usually set a month before Christmas so that they could go home after. Dean found a hunt not too far from the school and decided to take the first chance he got. The night before leaving he visited Cas in his office. 

“Can I come in?” Dean looked at Cas who was standing by a book shelf. 

“Sure. Anything I can help you with, Dean?”

“Just wanted to step in to see what you are up to.” Dean told him and closed the door behind him. 

Since their first kiss it had happened that when they both had free hours or just a few minutes to spare, they would meet up and talk and share a few kisses. Like before, Dean still didn’t want to think that it made him look like a sappy teenager, but he enjoyed it too much to care. 

Cas smiled at him and picked up the book when he found the right one.

“Yeah, nothing new here. When are you going away?”

“Tomorrow. And hopefully we will be back on Friday.” 

Cas nodded and sat down on the end of his desk. 

“What are you doing for Christmas, Cas?”

“Nothing. Guess I’ll stay here and watch over the few ones that stay behind.” 

“Any chance you would like to come home with me, have dinner with Bobby and the gang?”

“I don’t know, Dean.” Cas started to get up but Dean stood up in front of him and put his hands on his shoulders. 

“No pressure, you can think about it, okay?”

Cas met his eyes and eventually nodded. Dean took in a breath and decided not to say anything else. Cas hadn’t been outside campus since he had been with Dean that one time a few months back. Instead of saying anything Dean leaned forward and brushed his lips light against Cas’. When he pulled back Cas smiled at him and pulled Dean closer. Their lips met again in a deeper kiss, Cas parted his lips to let Dean inside and let out a soft moan. Dean swirled them around so he was the one sitting on the table with Cas between his thighs. He let his hands run up his back and felt a strong body under the thin shirt. Cas gasped when Dean bit his lower lip and continued with small nibbles down his jaw to his neck. 

Dean pulled Cas closer by his hips and they both groaned when their erections pushed against the others. The kisses got more intense and desperate in that moment. When Dean opened the button in Cas’ pants the other guy jumped a little in surprise. Dean watched him.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good, sorry.” Cas said fast but didn’t look at Dean.

“Cas, look at me. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want.” Dean said and forced himself to hold his hands steady at his hips instead of on his ass preferably inside his pants. 

“I know, Dean. I want you to.” He whispered, but Dean couldn’t help the feeling that it wasn’t entirely fine. 

“What’s going on?”

Cas shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong. I want this, with you.”

“But?” Dean needed to know. Even if Cas gave every signal that he wanted to, it was something in his eyes that made him think something was going on. 

Instead of answering Cas bent forward and kissed him. Dean was hesitant for a moment, but it was really hard to resist the perfect lips. They made him want to go crazy, and before he knew it he held Cas close, they were both panting while they grinded against each other. Dean opened his own jeans and pulled them down and did the same to Cas’. He lined their spent cocks up against each other and started thrusting his hips. Cas let his head fall back in pleasure and Dean was holding on to him, making sure he was steady. 

“Dean… I’m going to…” Cas gasped. 

Dean sucked on his neck and his own breath was going just as fast with the building low in his stomach. 

“Yeah, come on Cas, let it go.” He urged with a husky voice. 

Dean felt his entire body freeze against his and with a gasp Cas’ hips twitched and he came over their stomachs. Cas hands held on to Dean’s bicep and Dean thrust his hips a few more times before he tipped over the edge as well and came all over them too. 

Cas almost seemed a bit shy when he handed a Kleenex to Dean so he could wipe off the mess they had made. Dean buttoned up his jeans and put his shirt back on before taking a step closer to Cas. 

“Hey, you good there? You seem a bit distracted.”

“I’m fine, Dean.” Cas tried to smile and it was almost convincing. Dean was worried he had stepped too far and ruined what little they had going on. 

Dean put his hands on Cas’ shoulders and forced him to meet his eyes. 

“You would tell me if I did something?”

Cas nodded and took a deep breath. “You didn’t do anything, Dean.” 

“But—“

“It’s nothing, really. Can we just say good night? I’m kind of tired and have a lot to do for tomorrow, so.” 

Dean knew he couldn’t make the guy talk if he didn’t want to so he just walked to the door.

“And good luck on your trip.”

“Thanks. I’ll come and see you when we’re back.” Dean smiled as convincing as he managed and heard Cas saying he would look forward to that before the door closed behind him. Dean rested his back against the door and let out a long sigh. What had just happened? He thought everything was fine and then suddenly he got the feeling he had done something really wrong. 

With a frustrated sigh he walked to his own office hoping he would manage to fix things when he got back.


	6. Things I want to know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean goes on a hunt with his students and learn something about Cas

There were only six students on this field trip with Dean and Balthazar. Three of them had done this before and three of them had never been and that was showing clearly. One of the girls sat with her nose in a book about ghosts so she could remember everything she needed. They all let her sit there. The guy was constantly talking, assuring them that he knew exactly what would happen and that he was prepared for anything. Not even a little bit scared. The last girl sat in her seat, looking out the window, not saying a word. 

At a diner they got a table that was secluded enough so that they could talk. Dean went over the plan, that they would go find a place to stay that night before going to the house and see if they found anything. Balthazar would take charge of one group and Dean the other, so that they wouldn’t be there all at once. 

The silent girl’s name was Rachel and Dean put her in his group. He wanted to make sure she got through it and since he didn’t know Balthazar he would have to do it himself. Dean was glad to have a distraction from his own trouble so when they walked out of the diner he asked Rachel to stop so he could have a word. Balthazar understood and hustled the rest of the kids back to the cars. 

“Rachel, how are you holding up?”

“Fine. You know, a little nervous, but I’ll get through it.” 

“Good. Nervous is okay, but I want you to know you should talk to us about it. You might see stuff you don’t want to, and if you’re not ready it’s better to know that before you go in than after.”

Rachel nodded and stared at her shoe. 

“I guess… I just don’t know what to expect.” She finally dared to look up to meet his eyes and Dean gave her a reassuring smile. 

“It’s the first time for you, Sharon and Thomas and even if you have read and heard about it before you can’t know until you’ve been through it yourself. But what I’m trying to say is that if you feel like you need to back down, it’s best to do so before we are in that house.”

“I won’t back down. I’m nervous, but I know I can do this.” She sounded surer and Dean let it go. 

Dean and Balthazar had looked at the case together to make sure it was a routine-case before they let their students have a go. After checking into a motel they went out in two groups to investigate the place. At dinner that night they all sat down to plan how they would proceed. 

They all went together to the house that night. A creepy old house with no one living in it. Dean had one group and Balthazar the other in different floors of the house. It was only two of them besides the teachers that are allowed a gun with salt rounds and they were not allowed to fire without a clear from one of them. 

Dean was ready when the cold feeling and their flickering flashlight became real. Even if it had been a long time since he last was face to face with a ghost it practically was in his blood. He knew what he could expect because he had seen almost everything, and gotten away from things far worse than ghosts. He also expected the youngest students to scream, which they did. When a woman in a torn dress, scary gray face and blood from her ear came towards them they screamed. Dean felt someone press up against him and shouted after the girl with the book to stay put and don’t run away. He made eye contact with the student who had a gun and she pulled the trigger and the ghost disappeared in a fog. 

After seeing the ghost all of them were pretty quiet. Back at their rooms they made some food and the students were sitting in front of the tv. Balthazar and Dean sat in the kitchen with a bottle of beer. 

“I hear you hang out with Castiel a lot.” Balthazar said and Dean turned to look at him. He wasn’t sure where the other man wanted to go with it so he just made a sound. 

Balthazar nodded a little and keeping his eyes on the kids in the next room laughing at a comedy on the screen. They had told them to look at something else than horror, they needed to get used to the thought of that ghost until the morning when they needed to do some research. 

“Yeah, he’s kind of special that one.” 

“Huh?” Dean frowned and watched Balthazar. 

“Castiel. He’s… well he has some baggage, you know.”

Dean huffed. “Don’t we all?” 

“Sure, yeah. That we do, but Cassie there has got a little extra.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying that if you guys are friends, or even more than that, there are things you should know.” 

“So you know Castiel, then?”

Balthazar nodded and Dean waited for him to continue. Apparently Balthazar had been his friend since Cas moved in to the academy. They had spent time together and Balthazar had helped him pull his shit together and eventually ready to move on. 

“I’d say we are friends, but he didn’t tell me about you.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I know he prefer going out with guys, but he never told me how much he liked you.”

Dean had to take a deep breath. He didn’t like being in this conversation, and he didn’t want to hear this guy tell him that Cas maybe didn’t like him as much as he wanted. If he hadn’t even told his friend about their flirt, maybe it was nothing. 

“Don’t worry. He does. Like you I mean. He doesn’t like talking about himself that much so I kind of had to pull it out of him.” Balthazar shrugged his shoulders. 

“Aren’t you going to ask what he said or what happened to him?” 

“Why should I?” 

“Because I bet you are dying to know.”

He was right about that. Dean was really dying to know. He had been dying to know ever since he noticed how jumpy Cas was whenever there was talk about going outside the academy or their lives before teaching. Still, Dean had respect for others private life. He had stuff he didn’t want everything to know about, and so did almost everyone else he knew as well. 

“I thought so. I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but before dear Cassie came into safety he was running and running from someone. There was a hunt gone wrong, and he didn’t tell me this but I figured it out. He killed a woman on that hunt, and from what I can understand he hasn’t been himself ever since.”

“Why are you telling me this?” The beer suddenly tasted wrong and he wanted nothing more than to go back to Cas and talk to the guy. 

He had known something was off in the office the last time, but he never thought it could be something like that. Then again, maybe Balthazar wasn’t telling the truth. He might as well throw some shit about the guy because Dean could not believe Cas had killed anyone. Dean had been through a lot of stuff himself. He had been the reason innocent people got killed and when he allowed himself to think about it, it really hurt. But he had learned to live with it, so if Cas had been through something similar, then he would have to help the guy. First, he needed to get this hunt over with.


	7. Talking about you

For Dean the few days on that hunt felt like one of the longest in a long time. He was thinking about Cas and what was true about what he had heard. He avoided another conversation with Balthazar and he needed to focus on his students. Eventually he just promised himself that he would forget about it until he got home and to what needed to be done. 

His students did a good job on the research. They found everything they needed and finally they dug up a grave and burned the remains. The guy who was there for the first time was really skittish on the graveyard and almost threw up when they opened the casket. Balthazar was laughing telling him to pull it together, and Dean also had to turn away to hide his smile. He remembered his own first time and it wasn’t pleasant. Then again, he had been there with his father and he suspected that if he had dared to cry or throw up like he wanted to, his father would have pushed him into the grave and burned him with the bones. 

Back on campus the students is told to go home to their families and prepare a paper on their field trip when they get back over Christmas. Dean can’t wait to get back home to his apartment where it’s warm and cozy. He wants to bake a good pie and then sit down in the sofa and forget about anything outside his doors. 

Before that though, he have to find Cas. He have to talk to the guy and figure out if he can figure out what happened to him. Cas is was in his office, so Dean walked over to his house. Even though they had spent some time together, Dean had not been inside his house. Cas smiled bright at him when he opened the door to find Dean outside. 

“Hey. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Well, told you I’d come see you when we got back.”

Cas smiled and opened the door further to let Dean inside. The house was much more homely than Dean’s apartment. In the living room there was a sheen dim lighting that made him want to snuggle down in front of the fireplace. 

“This is very nice, Cas.” Dean said turning around and smiling at the dark haired man. Cas was wearing a pair of worn jeans, low on his hips. His t-shirt was white and on top of it an open shirt. He looked really good and Dean had to remind himself that he needed to talk to the man before bending him over the coach. 

“Thanks. I really like it here. Before me an old lady lived here, but then she decided to resign from teaching and move into town, closer to her kids.”

“Lucky for you.” Dean nodded with a smile walking closer. He had to touch the man. Dean rested one hand on Cas’ shoulder and he smiled up at him.

“How was the trip?” Cas asked his voice low. 

“It was fine. They did what they had to, you know.” Dean walked closer into Cas’ personal space and when the guy gave him one of his small smiles Dean leaned in to meet his lips. Dean felt Cas’ arms wrap around his waist and pull him closer as the kiss deepened. He heard a low moan slip from Cas before the man pulled away. 

“Um…” He started and blushed slightly. Dean put his hands in his pocket and wondered why this was so awkward. 

Cas made Dean sit down while he went into the kitchen to make coffee and Dean took a deep breath. When Cas sat down beside him he had decided he should just ask him. 

“I talked to Balthazar, he told me you two are friends.” Dean started. Cas furrowed his brow a little.

“I wouldn’t say friends exactly, but yeah, he’s nice.” 

Dean takes a moment to think about that. Had Balthazar been messing with him? With a sigh he sat down his coffee on the table. 

“I… Cas, he told me some things about what happened before you moved in here.”

“What kind of things?” Cas was more on alert now, pulling away from Dean. 

“Eh… You know, a hunt gone wrong, and you feeling bad.”

“Dean, tell me what you talked about.” Cas’ blue and pretty eyes were cold as ice when he stared at Dean so he had to swallow. With a deep breath Dean told him what he heard about the woman and Cas’ face got more and more hard as Dean spoke. 

“Why were you talking about this with Balthazar? Did it occur to you that it is private?”

“Yes I did, Cas. But you have been acting off whenever I wanted to take you outside and you can’t blame me for wanting to know why.”

“So you asked someone else. What happened to talking to me?”

“You always avoided that kind of conversations. Besides, I didn’t ask Balthazar. He pretty much dumped it on me.”

Cas stared at him for a while his eyes still cold and disappointed. 

“I think you should go now, Dean.”

“Cas, we should talk about this. I’m sorry I had to find out like this, and I’m sorry I asked.”

Cas wouldn’t hear it. He was mad that Dean had gone behind his back and had a hard time believing that Dean was telling the truth about Balthazar. Dean had not asked the man to tell him about Cas. He had told him no matter what, but Dean didn’t know how to make Cas see that. 

“Dean I need some time alone, would you please go now?” Cas asked and seemed tired all of a sudden.

Dean let a hand run over his face in frustration and sighed. 

“Sure. But I will come back and see you. We need to talk about this.”

Cas obviously wanted to protest against that, but Dean just hurried outside and said good bye. 

Dean spent the first days at home hanging around. He was going over the conversation with Cas in his head over and over again. Maybe it was wrong of him to talk about Cas behind his back, well obviously it was wrong. That was not the way he should do things, but to fix this he needed to talk to the guy. 

Dean visited Sam and hung around his place until he kicked him out and then he just sat on the bakery. 

“Dean, it won’t do anyone good to just sit around moping.” Charlie told him with a sigh.

“I’m not moping.”

“Right. You act like a teenager. Pull your shit together, make a pie and go apologize like you mean it.”

“What?” Dean stared at her. He had considered apologizing; more like graveling. But he would never tell Charlie how much he was willing to do to get Cas to accept it. 

“Dean, it’s obvious that you like this guy and if he is scared of going out and still did it for you, don’t you think that means something?”

It did mean something. Ever since Dean came into Bobby’s office ranting about his bad day Cas had been there. The man with the messy dark hair and beautiful eyes was there, leaving him coffees or just talking to him. They could talk for hours, and they could make out in the privacy of their offices. Dean liked that, and he grew to like Cas, then he understood that the guy was troubled with something. Why did he have to make it all so complicated? 

“I’ll figure it out.” Dean muttered as he stood up from his chair. Charlie was smiling like she was proud of him. 

“Good boy.” She cooed and laughed when he shot her an annoyed glance.


	8. Sort out my feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dean works hard to get Cas back to trusting him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much the last real chapter. I wanted to end it here, but somehow my thoughts got a bit smutty at the end here, so that will be in the next and absolute last chapter. ;)

Dean was nervous as he stopped his car in front of the cozy little house. It was dark outside and he saw a soft light on the inside, a flickering that told him there probably was coming light and warmth from the fireplace. He wondered if Cas was grading papers or reading a book. He wouldn’t know because he had never actually experienced Cas any other place than at school. 

For a while Dean just sat there after his car stopped rumbling. The smell of his blueberry pie spreading in the small space helping him calm down. He wondered what he wanted with Cas. He had thought about it all day. When they met the guy had gotten his attention just from being attractive. Then he learned that he was funny and pleasant as well and he wanted to hang out with him. Dean had of course, never been in a relationship with another guy. He just thought he got together with them because he wanted to mix it up a little in bed; he liked to change things up, and fucking a guy now and again was a great way to do that.

Was that what he wanted with Cas? A relationship? Dean let a hand run over his face and he picked up the pie. At least he could try and talk to the man, tell him he was sorry for what he did. The problem was, Dean had not forgotten about the day after the party when Cas got hurt because of Gabriel. So mostly what Dean did was making Cas hurt. Dean realized that if Cas told him to fuck off he had no reason what so ever to do anything but walk away.

Dean knocked on the door and listened to the footsteps inside. He was pretty sure Cas knew it was him and he ignored his heart that was running out of control as the door opened. Cas’ eyes were tired and hurt, he didn’t say anything. Just stood there, watching Dean and the pie. 

“Hi Cas.” Dean breathed out.

“Dean.” 

Dean swallowed. 

“I’m… uh… I will not stay long; I just wanted to let you know I really am sorry.”Dean told him in a shaky voice that he would deny to later. 

Cas stood there in front of him for a while before he turned to walk back into the house, but left the door open so Dean took that as a sign he could follow. He made sure to close the door and walked into the kitchen where Cas was. 

“I made this for you.” Dean told him and saw a tiny smile tug at one side of Cas mouth, but it was gone in the same moment, so Dean wasn’t sure if he imagined it.

“Thanks.” Cas put it on the bench and turned to face Dean expectantly. 

And Dean started to ramble. He told Cas about how sorry he was for not talking to him about it. He told him that he did understood privacy and that he was sucking at the relationship thing, but that he really wanted to try if he ever was forgiven for his shitty behavior lately. Dean was standing in front of Cas feeling flustered and the man just kept staring at him. In all his life Dean had always made it out of awkward situations with easy lies and crazy stories made up in a second, but he couldn’t do that here. He needed to suffer through this and take whatever Cas was giving him. That was a new feeling. Dean was a kind person, but he seldom gave away an important part of himself, like true feelings. The realization that he wanted Cas to forgive him, and try something real with the guy was the most scary thing that had happened to Dean in years. 

“You want to be in a relationship… with me?” Cas finally said and looked somewhere in between amused and confused. 

“Well… First I um… I want to know if it is possible to get past this mess.” Dean swallowed and tried to remember if he ever had an adult conversation like this regarding his life and feelings. 

Cas tilted his head and watched him. It was like he decided what to do and landed on the one where he told the whole story. 

“We’d been on the road for days hunting shifters of course. I hate them. So we got to this abandoned house. It was my brother, me and this woman named Bela. She was stubborn and wanted to make sure the creature was killed. I’m not so sure about this, but my brother insisted that she tagged along mostly because of me.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Michael said she was interested in me, like romantically.”

Dean nodded and settled for hearing the rest of the story. Apparently the shifter had lured them into a room; Michael had tried to go for it, but ended up being thrown through the room. Cas had gotten ready with his knife, and as he lashed forward, Bela was there. She took the hit in her abdomen, and it was bad enough that she bled out in a few minutes. 

“I don’t like to talk about it, because it makes me think about everything I did. I got mad because it’s my secret and I didn’t want Balthazar to tell you about it.” Cas finished. 

“He said he was a friend.” 

“Not a close one. We talk once in a while, but I never told him about this.”

Dean tried to understand and felt bad about it. Someone should really consider their need to gossip.

“Cas, I’m sorry I got into this mess, but I’m not thinking less of you. We have all done mistakes that we would rather not think about. That’s the kind of stuff we need to leave behind.”

“I know. I’ve just always been afraid someone would kill me because of what I did to her. I hide in here because of that.”

Dean stared at him and took a deep breath before asking him what he meant. 

“Bela’s mother was kind of a crazy woman and she threatened me and Michael after, you know. She wasn’t told what had really happened, but she blamed us anyway.”

Cas had felt like he was being followed and now that he had found his place at the academy he was more than happy to stay put. 

“I never looked for a great life, I wanted a peaceful life.” Cas told him and seemed a little awkward admitting to it.

As weeks went by Dean was very persistent in his attempt to fix his relationship with Cas. Christmas came closer and closer and Dean still wanted the man to come home with him, but Cas was uncertain he could do that. Jo was also nagging to get him to join them, and from what Dean could understand she had done that every year since she got to know him. 

Christmas day Dean had met up at Bobby’s early. Sam was there and so were Ellen and Jo. They ate and had a good time. Bobby was a master in the kitchen so he spent a lot of time in there to make them their Christmas dinner and the rest of them were either in the living room watching tv or sprawled on the floor trying to figure out a puzzle (read Sam and Jo for that one). Christmas music eased out in the room and there was a distinct smell of cinnamon and candles. 

Dean drove into campus early in the afternoon and stopped outside Cas’ cozy little cot. He walked inside without even knocking and found the man sitting in front of the tv with a cup of chocolate. 

“Dean.” Cas greeted him as he took in the sight of the man in a pair of clean jeans and a light shirt instead of his usual plaid shirts. 

“Are you ready?” Dean asked him and knew he wasn’t. He had told the man that he would come by at this time and drag him back to their Christmas dinner, but Cas still hadn’t given his approval. 

It didn’t take long though. He only had to tell the man about turkey and several types of pie, eggnog and most of all, that they all wanted him to be there. 

Dean brought him home with a part of his mind wondering what he should introduce him as. His boyfriend? He wasn’t exactly that, though. A friend? That just seemed like an understatement. A colleague? That was just cold. He couldn’t say that. In the end they all knew who he was apart from Sam, so he just exchanged names and let them figure out the rest. 

The evening was filled with laughter, more food than they should be able to eat, music and stories. Bobby threatened Dean and Sam to do the dishes so they had to roll up their shirts and get to work. Jo and Cas eventually joined them in the kitchen giving them each a glass of eggnog. Jo sat on the bench dangling her feet while Cas sat down on a chair beside her. 

“Are you guys finished any time soon?” Jo teased. 

“I swear Bobby used a lot more things than necessary. We will be her until the morning.” Dean grumbled. 

“Dean is just pissed he has to hang around here when he really want to take off with Cas.” Jo said and laughed when Dean sent her an angry look. 

“Is that so?” Sam turned to look at Dean with laugh in his eyes. 

“Shut up Sammy, I will leave the dirtiest dishes for you to handle.” Dean growled. 

It wasn’t very late until Sam and Jo went out with some of their friends and invited Dean and Cas to come with them. Dean felt that he had pushed Cas enough that night, so he offered to drive him home. 

“If you don’t mind I’d like to see your place. I’m already in town so what’s the rush?” Cas smiled. It was a bit forced, but it still seemed like he meant


	9. Merry Christmas Dean

Back at Dean’s place they got inside and Dean offered to make coffee, but they sat down on the couch with beers instead. He kept playing Christmas songs, just to hold on to the feeling while Cas looked around in his place. 

“It’s not as nice as your place, but I like it here.” Dean told him and knew that this place was a bit bigger and also much colder. Cas’ place had a homely feeling to it, while his own place was a more practical and minimalistic. 

“I think it’s nice here, Dean.” Cas smiled at him. “And I appreciate that I got to have dinner with you tonight.”

“So it wasn’t so bad?” 

“Not at all.” Cas sat down beside him and Dean scooted closer. He let one hand rest on his chin and leaned closer. Before their lips met Dean stopped to give Cas a chance to stop if he wasn’t up for it. He didn’t stop. He leaned in the whole way and let his soft lips meet Dean’s. With a sigh they leaned closer and Dean let his hand travel from his chin and around his neck. Cas snaked his arms around him to get closer. The kiss deepened and Dean let his tongue slide across his lower lip and with a low moan Cas opened up to him. Their tongues met with each other, wet and eager making both of them groan in pleasure. Dean felt Cas hands tighten around his shoulders and with an almost possessive growl he hauled the man up in his lap, straddling his hips. 

Soon the kisses weren’t enough and they were clinging to each other, starting to rip the shirts off. Dean managed to open Cas’ shirt and threw it on the floor, soon his own followed. The only sounds they heard were their huffs and moans as they tried to hold their bodies closer to the other. Dean had opened Cas’ pants but he was still straddling his lap so he was unable to get rid of it altogether. Cas leaned in to kiss his neck while he rolled his hips to feel Dean hard against his ass. Dean let his head fall back and enjoyed the sensation. 

When they finally got their clothes off Dean lead the way into the bedroom. They slumped down on the bed together still tangled around each other. Dean braced his hands on each side of Cas head and leaned down to let his lips run from his jaw and down to his collar bone. At the same time he let his hips thrust down against Cas. The result was a writhing, panting man beneath him.

“Need… Need you inside me, Dean.” Cas panted his voice rough and Dean could barely hold it together. He wanted it so bad he sucked down on Cas’ collar bone hard to mark him like he was an animal. Cas arched his back with a pleading whine. 

Dean spent a lot of time preparing Cas for himself. He was careful and took his time; let his lips wander over his body and sometimes licking a stripe up his hard cock. 

“I can take it, Dean… Come on. I need… you.” Cas said through his teeth after a while and Dean had only been waiting for this so he pulled on a condom, slicked himself up and lined up at Cas’ entrance. 

He pushed in slowly feeling the tight pressure that almost was too much. Cas panted loud and his fist clenched in the sheets. When he finally bottomed out they both let out a long sigh and waited. Dean waited for them both to get used to the feeling and Cas waited for Dean to start thrusting. 

“You feel so good, Cas.” Dean utters in a shaky voice. 

“You do too, but you need to start moving.” Cas says and tries to tangle his feet around Dean’s waist and start rubbing against him. 

Dean get the hint and slowly pull out before he glides back in. He do that a few times before he finally pick up the tempo. Cas only manages to utter ‘uh’ and ‘aah’ and ‘Dean’ for each thrust and he let his head fall back against the pillows while Dean were fucking him hard and steady. 

His hips piston forward, they are both sweating and Dean can see Cas’ black hair sticking to his forehead. He wants to take it out of his eyes, but he ends up leaning down to kiss him instead. He places wet kisses along the side of his face and down to his neck. Cas’ breath hitches and his breathing were fast and shallow. He was getting closer and Dean wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold on. 

“Almost there, let it go.” Dean purred into his ear and Cas gasped when Den let his teeth sing down into his earlobe. That tipped him over the edge and with a surprised scream he was coming all over his stomach. 

“You look so great.” Dean complimented and slammed his hips forward one time, two times, three times until he froze and came deep inside Cas with a long sigh. 

Dean were back with his arms on each side of Cas' face and it seemed like he couldn't stop placing small kisses over his face. Cas hummed silently with his eyes closed and flinched a little as Dean slipped out of him and rolled to his side. The silence was comfortable and they were both tired and satisfied when the night settled in over them.

“Merry Christmas, Dean.” Cas whispered out into the dim room.


End file.
